Let’s talk about self-care.

You’ve probably heard how important it is to “take care of yourself” so you can be your best for others. Sounds great, right?

But here’s the thing:

Mike and I didn’t exactly start off on the same page when it came to this idea.

Mike has always naturally gravitated toward self-care. He enjoys taking relaxing baths, complete with candles and bath salts. He even built himself a sauna (yes, you read that right!).

Between his sauna time, golf, pickleball, and video games, Mike has his self-care routine pretty much dialed in.

And then there’s me.

While Mike is enjoying his downtime, I’ve always had this thought in my head that taking time for myself means being unproductive.

After all, with a business to run and kids to care for, there’s always something that needs to be done.

It’s hard to justify “me time” when there’s seemingly a never-ending list of tasks that need attention.

But here’s where the real lesson comes in:

I’ve learned (the hard way, of course) that skipping self-care isn’t just a minor inconvenience. It’s a ticking emotional time bomb.

I can push my needs aside for a while, stuffing my emotions and pretending I’m okay. But eventually, it catches up with me. And it usually shows up in a not-so-cute way—like snapping at Mike or the kids. Not my finest moments.

Here’s what I’ve learned: self-care isn’t just some “nice-to-have” thing; it’s an essential part of being a good partner and a good parent.

When I make time for myself, even if it’s just a few minutes to breathe or take a walk alone, I’m better able to handle the ups and downs of daily life with a calmer, more patient mindset.

And it’s not just good for me. Our kids are watching. It turns out, our little ones are modeling what we do—not just what we say.

So when they see us carving out time for ourselves and for each other, they learn how important it is to take care of their emotional and physical well-being too.

It’s not just about being good partners in marriage—it’s about teaching our kids that taking care of yourself is part of being healthy and balanced.

So, here’s the big takeaway: self-care isn’t selfish. In fact, it’s one of the best things you can do for your marriage.

When you take care of yourself, you have more to give. That’s why Mike’s sauna sessions (and his golf outings) are as important as my (very hard-earned) “me time.”

It helps us both show up for each other and for our kids in a way that’s positive and sustainable.

Plus, we get to avoid those very uncomfortable moments when the stress of unaddressed needs finally explodes— in usually an inopportune times

So whether it’s indulging in a little luxury at home like Mike or finding a few quiet moments to recharge like me, the key is to prioritize it.

Your marriage—and your sanity—will thank you.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to schedule a massage and maybe light a candle…