A healthy sex life isn’t just good for your marriage; it’s good for your body and mind too! Here are some scientifically supported benefits:

Stress Reduction: Intimacy helps reduce cortisol levels, lowering stress and promoting relaxation.

Improved Sleep: Sexual activity releases oxytocin and endorphins, which help you fall asleep faster and sleep better.

Enhanced Immunity: Regular sexual activity has been linked to a stronger immune system.

Heart Health: It can lower blood pressure and improve cardiovascular health.

Pain Relief: The release of endorphins during sex can help alleviate pain from headaches, cramps, or chronic conditions.

The Health Benefits of a Good Sex Life

Connection Through Sex

For us, our sex life is a cornerstone of our connection. We love our sex life! It’s something we prioritize, and the results are undeniable. Regular intimacy fosters emotional closeness, trust, and a sense of being truly seen and valued by your partner. It’s not just about the act itself but about making each other feel prioritized and cherished.

In our marriage, we’ve found that consistency is key. We have found that for most couples 2-4 times a week is a good frequency, although seasons in life (like young kids) can modify the sex drive, so constant communication is key. To make sex a priority, we’ve had to be intentional. For example, we’ve established a consistent bedtime schedule for our kids, ensuring they’re in bed by 7:30 PM. This gives us the evening to unwind, reconnect emotionally, and spend quality time together—both physically and mentally.

Of course, life isn’t always predictable. Some seasons may provide less opportunity for physical intimacy, but that doesn’t mean connection has to stop. Even if sex isn’t as frequent, try to make a point to connect emotionally and engage in other forms of physical affection in the meantime.

Let’s talk about orgasm—it’s an important part of a healthy sex life. For some, reaching orgasm happens quickly; for others, it’s a longer journey. And for some couples, it’s either rare or non-existent. If that’s the case, it’s worth investigating potential underlying factors. Here are a few common areas to explore:

Medical Conditions: Hormonal imbalances, diabetes, and certain neurological conditions can affect sexual function.

Medications: Antidepressants, blood pressure medications, and even birth control can have side effects that impact libido or orgasm.

Mental Health: Stress, anxiety, depression, or past trauma can create barriers to sexual fulfillment.

Communication: Sometimes, it’s as simple as communicating your needs, preferences, or desires with your partner. There are important frameworks and respect that's critical so your partner doesn't feel inadequate or attacked. We always recommend going to the "higher standard", which means not pressuring your spouse to do something they are uncomfortable with.

Physical Fitness: Regular exercise and a healthy diet can improve blood flow, stamina, and overall sexual health.

If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional or therapist who specializes in sexual health. Solutions are available, and seeking help is a proactive step toward improving your relationship.

The Importance of Orgasm

Putting Each Other First

In our marriage, prioritizing our sex life means prioritizing each other. This can feel counterintuitive when you’re juggling careers, parenting, and life’s demands, but it’s essential. We’ve learned that by putting each other first, we create a stronger foundation for everything else—including being better parents to our kids.

At the end of the day, a good sex life isn’t just about physical pleasure; it’s about building a marriage that thrives. Prioritize your partner, communicate openly, and make intimacy a regular part of your life. Whether it’s three times a week or a schedule that works for your unique relationship, consistency and effort are what matter most. And remember: the journey of growing closer to your partner is one of the most rewarding adventures of marriage.