Having healthy boundaries with friends—especially the opposite sex—has been essential in building trust. We've always agreed that our primary relationship is with each other, and while we both value friendships, we make sure that our relationship comes first. For us, this means limiting the amount of one-on-one time we spend with friends of the opposite sex and always being transparent about our social plans. It’s not about control; it’s about respect and ensuring that nothing interferes with the intimacy and trust we share.

1. Set boundaries with friendships

2. Separating from Exes

One of the most important boundaries we've set is completely separating ourselves from ex-partners, as well as friends of exes. We both agreed early on that we would no longer have any personal relationships with people who were part of our past, no matter how friendly the connections may have been. This decision came from a place of respect for each other’s feelings and the desire to build a strong, unbreakable bond. While some might find this approach unnecessary, it has been vital for maintaining trust and preventing any potential jealousy or insecurity in our marriage.

Another step we took to ensure trust was creating an environment of full transparency with our personal devices. Both of us have complete access to each other’s phones, computers, and social media accounts. There are no secrets or hidden messages—this level of openness strengthens our bond and reassures each other that there’s nothing to hide. For us, it’s a commitment to being honest and holding each other accountable.

3. Full Transparency with Phones and Computers

4. Location Sharing for Total Transparency

In today’s world, it’s not uncommon for people to feel insecure when they can’t reach their spouse or partner. That’s why Mike and I have chosen to share our locations with each other. We have location sharing set up on our phones so that either of us can check in on the other at any time. It’s not about tracking or controlling; it’s about having the freedom to check in and knowing that we can count on each other to be where we say we’ll be. This simple gesture brings peace of mind and helps prevent any unnecessary worry or doubt.

Trust also thrives in an environment where open, honest conversations are encouraged—no matter how difficult or uncomfortable the topic might be. Mike and I make it a point to ask each other anything, even if we’re not sure how the other person will respond. In our marriage, honesty is more important than protecting feelings. We’ve learned that when we’re open, even about things we think the other person might not want to hear, it fosters deeper understanding and strengthens trust. It’s about respecting each other’s feelings and having the courage to be vulnerable, knowing that the other person will respond with love and empathy.

5. Honest Conversations, No Matter How Difficult

6. Forgiveness and Understanding

Trust is not something you simply build and forget— it requires ongoing maintenance, especially when mistakes are made. No relationship is perfect, and we’ve had our share of disagreements and misunderstandings. What’s important is how we handle those moments. Forgiveness and understanding are crucial for moving forward. When one of us falls short, we work through it together, acknowledge each other’s pain, and commit to doing better. A lesson we dive deep into with our clients is listening to understand verses listening to respond. Learning the difference between understanding and agreement is critical along with not defending your position while empathizing with what your partner needs.